Homesick

Can I just confess that I miss Nashville a whole heckofalot??

I think I am gonna write an ode to my favorite city, the city where I became an adult. The town where I truly fell in love with my husband, learned how to be a wife and a woman. And how to separate the two. . This is the place I started snipping my apron strings, and set that docile girl free. Of course, I don't think they will ever be severed.. . .They are now just thinner and run over fiber optic cables.

While Memphis' skyline is always impressive, coming across that Mississippi River bridge. .. My heart swells when I see the familiar lights of the Bat Building. Driving into Nashville at around 10pm Sunday night, I feel like I am being embraced by an old friend. The flickering of the Capitol and the other "skyscrapers" in town, blinking me a warm welcome in Morse code. Even at 1.5 million people, Music City is still a small town.

I was trying to wean myself from calling Tennessee, "back home" when I talk about the time in my life before Waco. I had kind of prided myself in my not-so-southern southern accent. My early years in Arkansas, the 3 formative years I spent in Washington . . .After I moved to Millington, I liked not being a Tennessean. It made me different from everyone. It made me special, distinctive. And now that I've left the Volunteer State, I long for it. I remember as a child, crying at night for my dear grandmother. . .2,000 miles away in Cash, AR. She was the embodiment of everything I knew. Everything familiar. And I find myself now, sometimes tearful at the distance from what I know.

Texas is a welcoming place. I've come in contact with some amazing people that will develop into life long friendships. Once we are able to invest some time in Waco, I know we can set down some roots, but Tennessee will always be my home. I just hope she remembers me when I come back.

An Exercise in Narcissism

I was sitting around today waiting for a phone call that never came. I've been expecting to hear back about a job since last week, and starting to lose hope. So, as I contemplate this reality, I begin to get a little droopy. So, my optimistic side comes out of hiding and I decide to make a list of all the songs I know that were written just for me. You guys have had folks write songs about you before, right? You hear the song, and go, "Gee, that song is SOOOOO about me!!" Well, below is a short list of those songs about me. Don't try to tell me that some of those lyrics were written before I was a sparkle in my daddy's eye. That does not matter. They are about me. So there.

Always a Woman (Billy Joel)
Short Skirt, Long Jacket (Cake)
She's Got a Way (Billy Joel)
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic (The Police)
Something in the Way She Moves (James Taylor)
Mysterious Ways (U2)
Secret Smile (SemiSonic)
Witchy Woman (Eagles)
Simply Irresistible (Robert Palmer)
Brown Eyed Girl (Van Morrison)


I am sure there are more. Feel free to post which songs you think were written for me. Or, since I am feeling more benevolent than at the beginning of this post, share with us the songs that were written for YOU.

Eric Russell, you cannot claim, "Disco Duck" or "Desperado" for yourself. Sorry. ;)~

Dad Update

Hey guys,

I got a phone call from Jason before we got home from church. Dad went back to the hospital today complaining of not being able to breathe.

Once I talked to Jason later this afternoon, I found that Dad had been admitted for congestive heart failure and pneumonia. I don't know what this means right now. Darlene came home from Jonesboro, and will go back in the morning to be with him during all the tests. Hopefully we will know more after those are complete.

From the research I've already done, CHF is a treatable situation, and not necessarily a death knell. It is still scary. I thought I had come to terms with the idea of the death of my father after coming so close to it during the depth of winter. Now, I am not so sure. I thought I had let go of some of those old hurts and relinquished the hold they had on me for so long. Things unsaid. Affirmation not given. Love withheld. I'm now feeling regret again, and I can't pinpoint the source.

I foresee another season of soul searching for Jennifer.

Yay, me!

I got on the scales the other day. I was concerned that it was wrong. Scott sometimes gets excited and moves the dial back a couple of pounds. But nope. It appears to be correct. I am closing in on 160lbs!! Since you are all sweet, kind family members, I'm sure you didn't notice me inching up and inching out. . .Or at least you didn't say anything. Since I have had all the issues with my shoulder, I have gained about 35lbs. As of Christmas of 2003, I was at 190lbs. On my frame, it wasn't healthy, nor was it attractive. I had started to notice that I needed elastic in the waistband of the new pants I was buying. And when I got up in the mornings, my feet hurt from the extra pounds. I think that is when the bell rang and I decided it was time to do something. The real challenge I faced was not being able to fully engage in any activity due to my still injured shoulder. Most folks will (thankfully) never realize how valuable that socket is!!! The point of this post is to share my excitement about dropping some weight and increasing my health!! Especially after realizing the heredity issues with blood pressure and other heart risk factors. Eat your greens!!

Another day, another nickel

I've been on the job search again. Yesterday I went on an interview with a pharmaceutical company and I think it went well. I've been burned so many times in this weird Waco market, that I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. Today, I had a phone interview for a company I've been pursuing for almost a year now. I will have a face to face meeting with him early next week. This is the one I am very excited about. It is a sales job for a hospice organization. Based on the time I spent at the hospital with my dad and the experience I had fresh out of college as a chaplain, I think this is the perfect combination of my passions. Being able to truly affect someone's life in a positive manner and make money doing it. Basically, I would be calling on nursing homes, oncology units, etc and creating relationships with physicians and families to help educate them on the value of hospice and end of life palliative care. Its kind of a downer if you think about it, but it is pretty interesting. Hopefully I will be on my way to be a productive member of society and contribute to the family budget.