Sarah Palin is Fierce!

You guys know I don't usually hop into political discussions....but.....

WOW.

All I could think was....WOW! Sarah Palin is fierce! I could envision her on the world stage and holding her own...in fact, I could see her going toe to toe with any world leader and staring them down. I think she has displayed a unique gift for being tough and not sacrificing her femininity. It was refreshing.

I got chills listening to her speech. And as a Toastmaster (former president of my chapter, thankyouverymuch).....she delivered much more than just words. Her timing and "voice" was just spot on. I teared up a couple of times. I found myself very proud as a woman and as a historically Republican voter....that Palin spoke for and to me. I'm not a hockey mom...or a soccer mom or any other mom for that matter...but I identified with her.

As I flipped channels, I noticed several folks call attention to the fact that Palin didn't write that speech for herself. I think that is kinda funny, since it is common practice NOT to write your own speech these days. As if the fact that the speech wasn't written by her, that the message wasn't her own. Obama didn't (doesn't?) write his own speeches. Even as good of an orator Bill Clinton is, he had help with his speeches. Ive delivered at least a dozen speeches in various venues. And while I'm not saying mine have ever been of this caliber...it is important to recognize that as a speaker, you have to believe the message you are presenting. My most boring speeches were the ones in which I had no personal vesting. You CANNOT electrify an audience with a story that you don't believe. Obama believes his message. Clinton believed his message. It is what great speakers have in common-they believe and thus connect with their audience.

As sweet as various news agencies tried to be in showcasing the human interest story that is Trigg Palin, I found it a little disgusting that they kept referring to him and his Downs Syndrome over and over. Just refer to him as the newborn son of the VP candidate, for heaven's sake!! Its as if that distinction is all that is important about him. I think it minimizes his value as a human by continually referencing him only by his "disability".

I think it would be easy to get jaded and think the Republicans and the Palins are parading their families around as a dog and pony show to display their "family values". The cameras pan around and zoom in to show various folks holding Trigg and I very cynically thought about how folks in politics love to shake hands and kiss babies...but the most honest piece of video I saw tonight was of the youngest Palin daughter holding him and stroking his face and hair while he slept. She was oblivious to the fact she was being filmed...and she was showing such unscripted sweetness and tenderness toward her little brother. That sight told me a lot more about their family than any official talking points ever could.

I have been energized by watching the convention tonight. I have some new hope. I like the idea of being able to vote for a ticket with a viable female candidate. I still have some questions that need answering before I pull the lever...but I am closer now than I was before Palin was tapped.

Asia Night

Friday night, Scott and I joined some friends over @ Jerry's house for "Asia Night" where each person brought their favorite Asian dish for potluck and then we watched "Kung Fu Hustle". We had several Korean specialties including Bulgogi, alongside salmon sushi, pot stickers, fried dumplings and chicken curry. My contribution to the feast was homemade fortune cookies. I got the biggest kick out of coming up with the fortunes themselves. We have amazing friends. I am so glad to be a part of this.

As Time Goes By....

Howard Ray Gregory

March 17, 1946-June 7, 2005

It has been 3 years. And rarely a day goes by that I don't think about you in some way or another. Our lives continue on...Jason got married. Jessica graduated college. You would have been so pleased! Even though we didn't talk very often, I always felt valued and cherished by you. It's funny how little regrets pop up here and there. If only I had called more often. If only I had gone to visit just one more time. I know those things are so far in the past and I can't change them. So many of those decisions were based on childish responses--deep seated fears and hurts that hadn't been allow to breathe or heal. I am so grateful for the time I had with you at the end. I think I finally started to see you not just as my father, but as my Dad. I became proud of you in a way I hadn't anticipated.

I can accept you are gone. The pain is there, but the sting has diminished. It doesn't smother me or paralyze me in a way it had. I was bitter for a while. And even now, I find myself angry. Angry because I feel robbed or denied having you in my life...presenting you with a grandchild...spending those hours talking about insignificant things--drinking bottomless cups of coffee into the evening. Laughing at silly jokes or stories you tell. I think I got my storytelling gene from you. It is one of my favorite things about me. It is a beautiful gift.
Thank you for that. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and that you haven't been forgotten.

I got a couple of phone calls while at work tonight. One from my aunt and the other from my brother. Grandpa was put into a nursing home a little better than a month ago. The transfusions he has been receiving for the past couple of years no longer serve any purpose, as he has developed antibodies against the blood. He has lost significant weight, is anemic and is in a state of confusion since his brain is not getting the oxygen it needs.

Anyway....Jason visited with Grandpa yesterday and he was not his usual responsive self. The docs have convinced the family to call in hospice. My brother said that it was surreal how much he looks like my Dad just before he died. Aunt Clara and Jason have both assured me there is no reason to hurry up to Arkansas to see him, as he probably wouldn't recognize me...that perhaps my last living memories of him should be of our time together over Christmas.

I keep looking @ my phone, expecting a call at any moment to inform me of his death.

Please say a prayer for me. In a couple of weeks would have been my Dad's 62nd birthday. Its going on 3 years since he passed. The loss of my Dad is still a very tender, raw nerve--and this seems to re-open the wound wide and expose me to the elements. I recognize Grandpa has had a full 94 years...and yet--still.....well, you know.

I am grateful for our time in Texas so far...but when it comes to my familial relationships, the physical distance has in some ways created a chasm I resent. When I spoke to Jason tonight, he said he was going to sit with him tomorrow (Tuesday) and just "be"...even though he wasn't sure Grandpa was cognizant of his surroundings. I asked J to stroke his face, tell grandpa that I love him and wished I could be there to hug his neck. My fantasy is that Grandpa will feel warmth and love from his family even as he is transitioning from here to there.....and that thought gives me comfort.

Sisters

While in Memphis, I got the chance to spend some much needed time with my sisters Brittany and Tiffany. Tiffany lived with us in Waco...and comes to visit from time to time, but I hardly ever get an opportunity to chillax with Brittany. We enjoyed dinner together for my birthday and took a couple of hours to do some Christmas shopping. In fact, before we left town on Christmas day to head toward Nashville--Scott and I met Mom, Tippy, Brittany and Sapo for dinner @ a Chinese restaurant. It has become a Christmas tradition for us of sorts. Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra......

Family Picture

As you are well aware, Scott and I have no children-but I am considering carrying this picture with me so I can show my "kids" to folks who ask. Do you think it will help me get better tips @ the restaurant? Anything is worth a try!

Too Too Cool

Over the holiday, Scott and I got the chance to drive all over Arkansas and Tennessee catching up with family members we haven't seen in a while. One of our stops was to see Jason and my sister, Jessica. While there, we had the brilliant idea to have a family picture made....but unfortunately all the shops closed early on New Year's Eve. Instead, their point and shoot cameras had to do! Playing around with the lighting in Jason's new house and the settings on the nifty cameras....here are a few pictures we captured. Enjoy!

Happy Halloween!

Or Reformation Day.....Depending on who you ask.

Here is a picture from our friend, Delayne's Costume party. Scott and I went as Abelard and Heloise--the happy, early years......

The baby is riding a little low. Yes, it is a boy.

Lucky

Not too long ago, I was having a discussion with a friend about how I find myself in the most interesting of situations. We went back and forth for a few minutes and I finally came to the conclusion that it is because I am lucky.

At twilight, I was on the phone with my brother as I drove home along 190 coming from Killeen into Belton. If you can envision it, there is a pretty steep incline as you travel east. In the distance I noticed some smoke, but just figured it was from some overzealous folks trying to enjoy their fireplaces as the harvest moon was becoming full . As I got closer, I realized it was a car on fire. There were no flashing lights yet and as I approached there was only one other car pulling over. I quickly told him I would call him back...but before he would let me go, he told me to make sure I was parked far enough back in case the gas tank blew up and to not do anything stupid. (As if!!)

For a second, I thought about driving on by....surely someone had called 911 already... and that I would just be in the way....but I recognized that the vehicle was a mini van. Not to be dramatic here...but it just moved me to my core thinking that there might be kids caught in there.

As I ran up to the van, Everyone had gotten out before it had fully engulfed and I was right. Someone had called 911. After confirming folks were ok, I retreated to my car (about 50 yards back) and drove away before I could get caught in traffic. In my rear view mirror I saw the flashing lights coming toward us. I passed the spectacle and could finally feel the heat on my face-even thru all the glass, metal and distance. I suppose I didn't realize how hot it was while I was next to it.

After I caught my breath, I called my brother back. I asked him who we got this strange trait from......Since my mom is a nurse and I can't count how many times we would pull over on the side of the road to help folks hurt in accidents or her administering CPR to some poor chap who collapsed in Wal-Mart---I fully expected him to say "Mom". In fact, mostly I meant the question to be rhetorical. More of a statement than a question. What is it about us?

Jason surprised me when he said we got it from our Dad. In fact, I started to make a case for Mom. I just didn't see it. Jason then proceeded to tell me a few stories of times he spent with Dad before he got so sick. Stuff I had never heard before. I hung up the phone, kinda sobered from my earlier excitement.

I rode the rest of the way to Temple in the thickness of contemplative silence. I quietly made dinner and it wasn't til I sat down to eat that I told Scott what had happened. Somehow sharing that little piece of my dad with Jason made him seem very near and I didn't want to break that connection by speaking too quickly.

How do I attract these happenings??.....I still think it is because I am lucky.