Overtime

I remember as a kid . .one of the nightly rituals with my dad was goodnight prayers and him pulling my toes. I always loved the way his great big fingers got ahold of my teeny little feet and managed to pop the joint without ripping the actual appendage off. To this day, I like having Scott pull my toes before I fall asleep. Part of it is nostalgia, the other part the last piece of my relaxation puzzle for the day. Of course, I am a lot bigger and Scott isnt quite as big of a fella as my dad once was.

I mention this little piece of the past and its connection to the present because I want to share some of those memories with you guys. Most of you have never known Howard Ray Gregory as my dad. He was the captain of his high school basketball team. Standing at 6'8", he was an imposing figure on the court as well as in life. Usually a gentle soul, my dad was well loved by everyone who knew him. He served in the Arkansas National Guard for 30 years. He was a dutiful son, who was never able to get out from the shadow of living so close to his parents in the rural community he called home. Dad was a rice and soybean farmer. He drove 18-wheelers and even did a stint as a deputy sheriff in Jackson County, Arkansas. He was always able to leverage his physical strength into a living for his family.

Dad became a father at age 29 when I was born in 1974. He got his second dip into fatherhood when Jason came along about after 3 years. Ten years later Darlene gave him his third child, a daughter. Jessica. Watching Jessica grow up over the past 18 years has really shown me what a great father Dad was. Because of the distance, I didnt get to experience it firsthand. But seeing what a beautiful, thoughtful and intellegent young woman she is, I know.

Our hearts are breaking as we watch him wither away in a hospital bed. Just a skeleton of who he once was. I pray every night for God to have mercy on him. To have mercy on Darlene, who ministers to him, unscathed by the ugliness of his wounds. Dad is in the last stages. I hope he is able to go to a peaceful place while he still with us. Maybe back to his glory days, when he was able bodied and usually a hero in the last play.